Wednesday, October 15, 2003

The plan is hatched!

As the readers of my blog will know, I have been struggling with certain aspects of my life for some time now.

Firstly, I have grown to loathe and detest my job with such a passion, that I just don't feel I can do it anymore. My job is utterly worthless, pointless and miserable. It serves no useful purpose to society, in fact it barely serves a purpose within the blinkered confines of the organisation. I feel as if I could just not turn up for work for months on end and no-one would notice or even care. That doesn't make me feel good. I've reached the stage where I take no pride or interest in my work. I've never felt that way about a job before, so I figure it's time to get out of this one.

Secondly, two months ago I started a relationship with the lovely Big Fella after being single for more years than I care to mention (Tilesey, six months is nothing...). I can't tell you how this has changed my outlook on life, but the problem is, he's in London and I'm... well, not!

Given these two factors, the upshot is:

a) I need a total change of career
b) I need to be with the Big Fella

Up until now, I have been trying to think of what my long-term career should be. This has been really hard. I've never really had a clear idea of what to do with my life - apart from dabbling with the idea of being an Air Traffic Controller (which was scuppered by me failing at the second interview...) I now realise that I need to do things one step at a time, the "final solution" may be some way away and is too overwhelming to think about. So last night, as I was talking these issues through with the Big Fella, I came up with a plan:

I get a temporary job in London, which will solve problem b). Whilst there, I will consider what I want to do in the long term (problem a)), whilst basking in the comfort and safety of the arms of the Big Fella.

Ultimately, it's likely that we will end up back down here (since neither he nor I have any desire to live in London long term) - he would just need to find an appropriate position - being a classics teacher means that he's not as in demand as, say, a maths teacher and can't just bowl up at any old school and say "Gissa job mate"...

So that's the plan. It's given me something achievable to aim for. I don't have to totally up sticks, sell the flat, make massive sacrifices. I can just give myself time to think about what I need to do, with BF to support me (and vice versa)...

That's it for now, better get back to doing a not-very-convincing impression of someone doing some work....

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