Friday, November 28, 2003

Thought for today

Thou shalt love life more than the meaning of life

Fyodor Dostoevsky*

*there appear to be various different ways of spelling the name. Apologies if I have offended anyone by using the above version....

Today's news

More news later


Thursday, November 27, 2003

Yo yo, listen up!

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Ice.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.

Oh, Witho!

Picture the scene.

Witho checks her home e-mail:
"Hmmm, what's this 'ere message and why have I got about 20 of them? I don't know this person.... oh, but they think they know me, and they've attached some photos in a zip file. Let's have a butcher's then. Oh, where are these so-called photos? Nothing seemed to happen when I opened that file. Ah well. I'll reply to this person and tell them I don't know who they are. Oh, postmaster, what do you mean you couldn't deliver the message...?"
*shouts at PC, before wandering off*

The next day:
"This PC's running like a dog, what's wrong with it? I can't get my blog on screen... oh, and I've got even more emails from this mystery recipient! They've all got this zip file attached. Let's have a look at that again. Hang on, it looks like a jpg but it's actually an exe........... " *distant, menacing sound of extremely large penny dropping*


Is anyone in the blogniverse stupid enough to have contracted this virus as well? Is there a cure?


Love Witho

In case you are as stupid as me, here's the info you'll need....

Wednesday, November 26, 2003


Dear Witho

Every time you eat a "Hershey's Chocolate Kiss", you vow never to do so again. And yet....

Love Witho

How can a piece of chocolate smell and taste of rancid cheese? Answers on a virtual postcard please....

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Witho's silly quotes

I've just been reminded of a couple of my more stupid outbursts:

Witho on Jaffa cakes:

"I'm not convinced by these Jaffa cakes. Some people swear by them... I swear at them"

Witho on cheese:

"Some people like their cheese to walk off into the sunset. Personally, I prefer mine not to smell of death"

Plenty more where that came from, I fear...

Dear web developers....

Dear geeky web developers

When developing a web screen that requires the input of a date, the use of drop down pick lists is highly annoying to a Witho. Whilst I realise that allowing the user to type numbers in would require some kind of validation (i.e. probably more work on your part), it would make the screen so much more user friendly.

It takes me a fraction of a second to type in my date of birth. Selecting from lists takes ages, and actually - I believe - leaves more room for error ("oops, I picked the wrong day/month/year!")

Think about your users!

Love Witho

So many blogs, so little time....

More links added down the sidebar - all the Ps, Pinky and Pip.

Likelihood of getting any work done today? None

Monday, November 24, 2003

Grindstone news

Yes, it's back to the proverbial grindstone. I've successfully avoided any work thus far by trawling through the stack of e-mails which accumulated during my absence, mostly relating to multifarious Christmas lunches - which is nice. I shall now waste more time by relating some facts about last week's holiday:

Fact 1: Coupledoms get better rooms in holiday cottages! This was one of my major bones of contention as a singleton and could be the subject of a post all of its own. Essentially, as a singleton, you tend to get put in a bunk bed, or on a sofa bed on the landing, but as a coupledom you get a nice double room, possibly with ensuite facilities. I could go on all day about singletons not being valued by society, etc etc etc. I was there for a long time, remember! Don't even get me started on Ikea's "anti-singleton" régime!

Fact 2: Witho's skin and stomach object to water from a borehole! The cottage wasn't on mains water, and whilst this is supposed to be purer, Witho's constitution was not happy with it at all, and I had to resort to bottled water for drinking. The number of spots on my face was also testament to my need for chemically enhanced water... that's my excuse anyway...

Fact 3: Tennis is great. The cottage had a tennis court on site and most days were dry so we got lots of tennis in.

Fact 4: My brother and brother-in-law look very silly playing "Dancing Stage Megamix" on the PS2

Fact 5: Wigs rule! And I look very silly in a blond wig (see Moblog, though you can't actually see it very well!)

Fact 6: I am the queen of the PS2 "Eye toy" dancing game!!!!! All these little characters came up on the stage to bow down before my dancing prowess!

Those are just some of the facts - there are clearly too many to relate. Suffice it to say, a great time was had by all. The big fella was accepted into the Witho "clan", my two and a half year old nephew even drove his toy train along BF's arm to show his approval. That is indeed an honour!

P.S. Welcome back Billy - we missed you!
P.P.S. I saw this film last night - I can thoroughly recommend it. Ample opportunity to laugh at Americans, but also stuff to warm the cockles of your heart...

Friday, November 21, 2003

It's okay everyone, I'm back!

Everyone else: "Back from where? Did you go somewhere?"

Ah, you didn't miss me then... ah well.

Minnow and Simon decided to use my absence to have a slanging match about the use of asterisks (see post below). Cool!

Well, I had a lovely holiday in Dorset - have just got back home and still have a whole weekend to recover from holiday before going back to "work". And the big fella's coming down tonight...

I told work that I would consider working from the London office on a short term basis and they're going to see what they can do. In the meantime, I need to decide what my new career is going to be!

Please feel free to use the comments to make suggestions!

Will blog more about holiday later, I've got some sorting out to do right now

Bye for now


Thursday, November 13, 2003

The Thursday Digest

Job news:

So keen are my employers for me NOT to leave, they have suggested that I work for a 3 month trial period from the London Regional Office. This approach has the following advantages (cue, bulleted list):

The disadvantage, as previously advised, is that I was expecting to leave [insert company name] and had kind of psyched myself up for that. Also, the reason for my leaving is not *purely* geographical (though clearly this is a major concern...), but I suppose all I'm doing is sorting out the geography first, then giving myself time to consider the rest.

All in all, I think this is a pragmatic solution - as does the BF.

Holiday news:

Yes, Witho is off on holiday again! This time a family-centric cottage holiday in Dorset (rather than friend-centric as per the previous one). Big Fella will get to meet the rest of my rabble (he's already met my sister and her "Small Fella") but he's only there for the initial weekend, while the rest of us are there for the whole week - *sigh* one day me and BF will go on holiday for a whole week (or maybe more!), but that means going during school holidays which costs approximately a ga-zillion of your Earth pounds, so I've heard!

Anyway, I'm off work tomorrow because I'm driving up to the Big Fella's tonight to get me some unrestrained loving prior to driving the two of us to the cottage - where the loving is likely to be a little more restrained due to the presence of, like, my entire family...

The consequence of this is that I'm unlikely to be posting for about a week so you'll just have to do without me! Maybe I'll send some pics to the moblog though - check it out, it's suffering from a distinct lack of commentary and might just cry if you don't go and say hello!


There is no news relating to pineapples today

I think that's all for now

*sits and ponders on a pic she can get kev to draw of/for her....*

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Oh dear

Someone caught me unawares at the pub quiz. We came second though and won lots of chocolate!

Ooh, 999 visitors - who'll be the 1,000th?

Please leave a comment if it's you!

It started with a text message....

3 months ago (yesterday), I sent the following text (word for word - I've kept it... though I've changed the names to protect the innocent...):

Hi Big Fella, Witho here. J gave me your number, hope you don't mind... Enjoyed your company last weekend, felt a "vibe". If you felt it too, would love to hear from you. If not, no worries, ignore this msg and sorry if I have embarrassed you... Bye for now, Witho :)

Sensibly, as advised by my old desk-mate "Humsty Dumsty" (as I called him), I requested a delivery receipt for the text message. This turned out to be a good move - evidently BF had his mobile switched off, so I didn't get the receipt for at least an hour - an hour spent biting nails, pacing around my flat like a caged tiger and shaking uncontrollably - who knows what I would have been like if I hadn't requested the delivery receipt? Hmmm, probably much the same, but more so... Anyway, once the delivery receipt arrived, the real palpitations started, but it wasn't long before the phone bleeped again with his (as it turned out, delighted) reply. From that point on, my life was turned upside down... we've been inseparable ever since... well, not physically, since we live 100 miles apart, but you know what I mean...

For once, I took control of my life. I took a bit of a risk, but it paid off - big time

Yesterday, I took another risk. I'm hoping that this one will pay off too. We only get one crack of this "whip" we call life...

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

I've been and gone and done it!

Witho, approaching M's "pod": "Hi M, have you got a minute"

M: "Of course Witho"

Witho: "I've got something for you"

*opens meeting book to reveal letter and hands letter to M*

M, looking a bit shocked: "Let's go somewhere private"


Yes, I resigned this morning. At the time, I was a nervous wreck. Feel relieved and happy now. I've just made a change in my life, and it will be a change for the better. Had quite a nice chat with M (my manager) - he was very understanding, and said if I can think of anything they can do to make me stay, to let him know. He suggested that I might be able to work from the London office, either in my current capacity or doing something different. It's something to bear in mind, although psychologically I think I need a break from the company.

When I returned to my desk, my mobile rang - it was a job agency saying they were interested in my cv, but that I should apply nearer the time when I'm available since I'm applying for temporary jobs which need to be filled very quickly. He seemed very positive that they would be able to find me a job, so that was nice.

Everyone has been very supportive. I was a bit worried about my family's reaction, as I've always been the silly one who does silly things (I *am* the youngest, that's my job!), but they're all behind me and wishing me well.

Big Fella - I know you probably won't read this today, and I've said it already, but Happy Anniversary babe....

*wanders off serenely*
*wanders back less serenely to press "Publish" button - d'oh!*

Monday, November 10, 2003

Today's news


In an unprecedented move, Witho wore a skirt to the office today, and provoked much reaction. One witness said "I've never seen Witho in a skirt". Another said "Who is Witho again?"


In another unprecedented move, Witho announced to her friends that she would be resigning tomorrow. When asked why tomorrow, she gave the following statement: "Tomorrow is mine and Big Fella's anniversary. My resignation is my anniversary present to him. I have no further comment".

I've been eating Woolworth's "Kids' Pick 'n' Mix" all morning and now feel sick.

The End
Love Witho

Saturday, November 08, 2003

New kid on the "blog"...

All you blogoholics out there, welcome Minnow to the Blogniverse. She was kind enough to pop in chez Witho for a bit of a chinwag about Dennis (mini-Dirty-Den) out of Eastenders, and we used a fair bit of Hannabella's comment space slagging off Kate Lawler and RI:SE, so I thought I'd give her a mention. Why don't you pop over and say hello?

Friday, November 07, 2003

In Praise of Idleness

I'm liking this.

I wish I was clever and could write stuff....

Thickie Witho...

Molto interessante

This, via Simon's blog, is fascinating stuff, and as such it now appears on my links list... That's what blogging's all about, getting an insight into other people's lives, people who lead a different (or maybe not so different) life to yourself. Respeck


Thursday, November 06, 2003


You know the character Vicky, out of Eastenders? Well, I'm sure she used to have an American accent, on account of her supposedly living over there. So how come she hasn't got the accent anymore? Or did I dream the whole thing?

Witho is confused....

** UPDATE **

I actually dreamt last night that she had the American accent again, thus making me look a fool for claiming that she'd lost it. That's all I can remember from my dream. I really should get out more....

The Big Fella

Low quality pic of the Big Fella (playing his "gitt-tarrr" [said in Southern American drawl - I always say it like that for some reason]) now available on the old Moblog. You can't see him very well - which is probably just as well, as he may not want his picture plastered all over the interweb for any Tom, Dick or Harry to see!

Once again, apologies to my work colleagues who won't see it (textamerica is barred from our work PCs), but you've seen him in real life anyway!

MP3 news

Having received my replacement MP3 player (muchos excitement - as Hannabella would say), I rigged it up to the old PC to discover that the software still wouldn't recognise that the player was connected, so it appears that the fault was not with the player after all, and is likely to be with my PC USB connection. Nuts! So now I'm going to test this hypothesis by getting my friend to come round with his digital camera to see if that works as that would use the same USB socket. If the camera doesn't work, I'll know that it's my USB socket and can take some action. If, however, the camera does work, I'll simply collapse on the floor in a heap and cry. This is often my solution to technical and/or DIY issues. Like when I was trying to put some shelves up in a recess. I successfully screwed battens onto two of the walls, then when I came to the third, turned out the wall was not solid, so my whole plan for chunky "floating" shelves was scuppered. Months later, this abortive attempt at shelf-building is still in evidence. If you look carefully, you can still see the tear stains...

Job news

Application forms eh? I much prefer the lazy option of just sending a cv with a covering letter, but these so-called equal opportunities employers will insist on making you fill in an application form. I'd forgotten what a time-consuming business this can be - if you want to do it right! Person Specifications, job descriptions, trying to remember what I was doing between October 1997 and April 1998 (or similar). Deary me... The latest one asks me how many days off sick I've had in the last 2 years. If they'd asked me a few months ago, the answer would have been "ermmm, about 2". However, now it's more like 15, after my bout of random ailments of a couple of months ago. Looks like I've put that behind me now though, touch wood...

Other news

That's about it for now

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

To slap, or not to slap...

Since the age of about 11, I've been trowelling make-up on my face on an almost daily basis. I blame my sister (I *know* I've got two sisters, but *I* know which one I mean...) - she's 4 years older than me and had a Saturday job in Boots and used to get loads of make-up testers free when ranges were discontinued. So we'd spend our evenings daubing our faces with "electric blue" mascara and frosted pink lipstick - soooo eighties! That's how it all began... by the age of 15 I was wearing a full face of make-up every day.

16 years later *gulp* and I'm still slapping it on - not just a bit of lippy or mascara, the whole hog - foundation, powder, blusher, eyeliner, mascara, lippy. It's become such a part of me that I don't even realise I'm doing it...

The Big Fella said to me the other day "Don't wear make-up Witho, you look much better without it" (at the time he said it, I was "sans" make-up so he was qualified to comment - many people haven't seen me without it!). But he's biased...

I've had a little think about this. When I look around me, most women don't appear to be wearing much make-up at all. Compared to them, I really do slap it on - maybe I'm hiding behind it or something, maybe my make-up is the mask I wear for the outside world. The real Witho is what lurks beneath the layers of "ladies' lard" (as my brother would call it...). Maybe I should "cut down"! I've made a lot of changes in my life recently - this could be the next one! I'm a bit scared though. My complexion is so bad at the moment which is one of the things which perpetuates the cycle (wear make-up to cover up spots, make-up causes more spots, wear more make-up to cover up spots....). Hmmm, something to think about.

I "suggested" that BF grow a goatee and he did, so maybe it's my turn to take on his "suggestion"...

Gissa job!

I haven't got a job sorted in London yet. It's getting me down. I'm just so impatient to leave here, but whilst I'm down here it's difficult to sort out a job up there. It is so tempting to just resign now. I've got a bit of dosh put aside and am willing to do crap temp jobs in the short term just to cover expenses. Would this be such a crazy idea? Evidently, the Big Fella thinks it's a great idea, as it would mean me moving up to London sooner. But when I've tentatively mentioned it to friends and family, they've been quite outspoken in their discouragement, probably with good reason. I think if one, just one, of my friends or family members gave me their blessing, I would do it, that's all I would need...

Tuesday, November 04, 2003


*said in the style of the dogs from "That's Life" who used to say sausages (apologies to any non-UK readers, or UK readers who are too young to remember the "talking" dogs from That's Life....)

Monday, November 03, 2003

Emotion Eric

You have probably heard of this already, but it's always good for a laugh.

The idea is, you suggest an "emotion" and Eric will provide a photographic portrayal of it.

Literally minutes of fun, which would have otherwise been spent "working"....

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Weekends are too short!

Big Fella's gone back to London, leaving a sad little* Witho sloping about in her lonely (but warm and snuggly - thanks double glazing!) flat. We had a great weekend:

Any parts of weekend not mentioned above were spent doing things that long distance couples do when they haven't seen eachother for 2 weeks....

I have decided that the Big Fella has a syndrome which I have named "Obsessive Percussive disorder", whereby he feels the need to "drum along" with any given piece of music which may be playing at any given time (even if it's crap), using implements which he finds at his disposal - e.g. a pen on a book, his fingers on the steering wheel of my car as I'm driving along (he was quite taken with the sound this emitted! Strange boy).

I'd better go now - posting from home, so this is costing me money!


* Witho is only "little" relative to the Big Fella, or similar persons taller than 5ft10in...

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