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Monday, December 01, 2003

Le weekend

(Second attempt at this, Blogger blew up the first time I tried to post it - thanks!)

Highlights were:


Low points:

Picture the scene.
A station car park, in SE London, in the rain

Witho: Dear Pay and Display ticket machine [hereinafter referred to as "P&DM" - you can tell I had to type this once before can't you?], please provide the cost of an all-day stay at your wondrous establishment for my humble automobile, love Witho
P&DM: Dear Witho, the cost of the stay you require will be two of your Earth pounds and sixty of your Earth pence, love P&DM
Witho (rummaging in purse): Dear P&DM, whilst I *do* have this amount of money within my pursular confines, I note that you only accept certain denominations of coinage, which means that I am exactly ten of your Earth pence short, love Witho
P&DM: Dear Witho, that's not really my problem is it? love P&DM

*accepts that she has a problem, starts rummaging in car for those stray coins which always appear when you're vacuuming the car, but when you need ten poxy pence for a ticket machine, suddenly decide they're going to hibernate for the winter*

Big Fella emerges from the train ticket office. Witho beckons him over

Witho: Dear BF, please provide ten of your Earth pence, lots of love, Witho [note BF gets lots of love, whilst everyone else just gets love - bless...]
BF: Dear Witho, I cannot meet your coinular requirements on this occasion, love BF

*bums*

Another car park patron arrives on the scene and approaches P&DM

Witho: Dear car park patron, please provide ten of your Earth pence in a denomination no smaller than a "ten-of-your-Earth-pence" piece. Here is ten of your Earth pence in smaller denominations which I shall provide by means of an exchange. Love Witho
Car Park Patron: Dear Witho, please accept a twenty-of-your-Earth-pence coin, which is the smallest denomination I have which may meet your requirements, love Car Park Patron
Witho: Dear Car park patron, please accept my sincerest thanks, love Witho *sigh of relief*

Car park patron leaves the scene, running to catch the train which Witho and BF are also hoping to catch

Witho: Dear P&DM, please accept the following in settlement of the purchase of an all-day parking ticket - two of your Earth pounds and seventy of your Earth pence, this being an overpayment of the amount due. Love Witho
P&DM: Dear Witho, please accept the following: all your money spewed out again and no parking ticket. You have overpaid and this is simply not acceptable. Love P&DM.

Train rumbles onto station platform, accepts passengers into its midst, and rumbles off to its destination, Witho-and-BF-less...

Oh, the anger, the hatred. Words cannot describe it. Have you ever come across a P&DM which won't accept an overpayment? Because I haven't....


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