Friday, January 09, 2004


I've got a confession to make. Up until about an hour ago, I was a virgin. I'd never really experienced what so many other people had experienced. I would listen to their conversations about "you-know-what" and think: "I just can't relate this to my life". All that talk of getting all sweaty indoors, panting, sighing, revealing flesh, I couldn't join in with their conversations.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'd had plenty of experience out on the streets, several times a week. But behind closed doors, never. Jamais.

So today, for the first time, I went on a treadmill. Yes, a treadmill. Well what did you think I was talking about.... ? Oh, no, when I said "virgin", I meant a "treadmill virgin". What must you think of me, with my talk of being "out on the streets"? Hmmm, yes, I *can* see how that could have been misconstrued...


I've been running for some time (started last March as I originally wanted to run the Race for Life, and carried on after discovering that I could continue eating proper food and go down several dress sizes....), but up until now, only out on the cold, hard streets - keepin' it real, sista! However, since there's a free gym at my new office (the reason I run outdoors is because it's "free" and I'm too much of a skinflint - or a "Value Witho" to coin a Blue Witch phrase - to pay gym membership) I thought I'd give it a go. And by confining my running antics to within "working"* hours, it means I can maximise Big Fella time. Yes, I know we *only* saw eachother at weekends before, and now we live together and isn't that enough for me? Well no, it isn't - I still want more!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I went on the treadmill. And only stumbled embarrassingly twice. During the stumbles, I naturally grabbed for the handrail, and inadvertently pressed the stop button, which reset the bleedin' counter, so I don't actually know how far I went or for how long, but I've a fair idea. It was funny because when the thing stopped abruptly, my little** legs didn't understand and wanted to keep moving. A weird sensation. It's pretty dull though.

Further advantages of the 'mill are as follows:


Right, must fly, train to catch in a minute

*"working" encompasses the following:

**yes, I know Witho's legs aren't little, but I'm using it in that "ahhh, bless" sense, alright?

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