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Saturday, March 13, 2004

Analyse this!

I don't often remember my dreams, but this morning I woke up "mid-dream" and immediately recounted it to the Big Fella so that I wouldn't forget. So today only, I present to you, dear reader, the addled mind of La Witho. Brace yourself, it's utter nonsense:

The Big Fella and I were in a wood and were off for some rumpy-pumpy "in the nature". We found a massive old tree which had been hollowed out at the bottom and there was a bedroom inside, which was handy.

Big Fella sent me off to have a w*nk (?) - I was completely naked, but wrapped in a duvet. I was wandering around the wood trying to find somewhere private, but there were quite a lot of people about and lots of open space (plus a number of other furnished tree trunks), so I decided to return to "our" tree trunk. When I got back, BF was in the bed, but so were some other people - two girls (who I don't think I knew) and a male friend of mine, C. They were all just tucked up in bed together, wide awake. I decided I needed a wee, and there was a ladder up to a toilet just next to the bed (again, handily...), but I couldn't work out how to get up the ladder and hold the duvet around my body at the same time. Just as I was puzzling through this, some people came to the tree trunk and said they were moving the bed out, so we'd have to get out of the way.

We all started gathering our stuff together, and I was looking for my knickers. I saw the other girls' knickers and was jealous because they had really glam ones with diamanté trim, while mine were plain black. I thought I'd spotted mine, but then my friend B randomly appeared, and said they were hers. I examined the label to see if they were mine, and the label was massive, with loads of writing on, and I couldn't find the pertinent bit to confirm that they were mine. I spent ages reading all the stuff on the label.

Not sure how this happened (it was a dream, after all!), but I suddenly found myself in a car with Billy - it was a left-hand drive car. He seemed to be driving me home, but we were clearly going well out of his way. We were chatting away, and I said it was funny actually listening to him speak rather than reading his blog. I told him I was surprised that, in real life, he actually paused for breath. I suddenly realised I didn't have my bag on me, but I had my phone. I got it into my head that I'd left my bag at Swiss Tony's and started to panic.

By this time, I was out of Billy's car and wandering around a busy marketplace - a bit like a bazaar in Morocco or something. I decided to phone Tony about my bag, and when he answered, he sounded really upset. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he'd been listening to his Kajagoogoo album at the wrong speed (I kid you not!). I realised I wasn't going to get much sense out of him, so put the phone down, and started composing a text message to him, but instead of saying that he had my bag, I was now under the impression that he had my knickers, and was describing them in detail in a text message. As I was doing so, I suddenly thought: "Where's my car?" and then started panicking about that as well...


...

then I woke up, realised that my bag, car and knickers were all "safe" and everything was all right...

*watches as blog readership backs away slowly*


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