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Monday, March 29, 2004

Job ideas

I've thought of a couple of jobs that I'd be really good at:

Glove loser

Take two gloves into the cold? What a waste. Travel light, and get Witho to "lose" one of your gloves for you. Over 30 years of experience in glove-losing, leather, suede, wool - any material, any time, any place. Just give Witho a call... she can even lose mittens joined together through the sleeves of a coat via a piece of wool - oh yes, she can take all challenges in her stride.

Upright hoover clogger-upper

With her long tresses which will willingly lurk in or on any available flooring, la Witho can efficiently and effectively clog up any brand of upright vacuum cleaner, with hair being wrapped around the revolving brush and causing the vacuum cleaner to operate both noisily and inefficiently... You'll wonder how you managed without her!

What do you think readers? Do you think there's a market for my "services"?

On losing my glove (somewhere on Eltham High Street) I thought to myself "ah well, I'll just get some more...." - but oh no. Despite the fact that it was freezing cold, all I could buy was flip-flops, bikinis, strappy sandals and the like. All the gloves had been removed from the displays to make way for the summer collections... So la Witho's ungloved hand resembled a withered claw by the time she'd finished her shopping...

Running news

Ran 5.6km this morning so I probably won't suffer from guilty feelings today...

Job news

None as yet - trawling through the next batch of job ads...


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