Saturday, September 18, 2004

This post has been brought to you at a confirmed speed of 70wpm... (wind assisted*)

Yep, another agency has been putting me through my paces. Their system was a bit less hi-tech than the last. A blank Microsoft Word document, a copy holder containing some dreary text about something or other and a kitchen timer. I start typing, the consultant starts the timer and leaves me to it.

*type frantically for five minutes*
*hear bleeping sound followed by rapid footsteps*

The consultant bursts in:


She checks the screen for any red, wobbly underlining (i.e. spelling mistakes - there were none) and checks the numbers down the side of the document I was copying to see how far I'd got in five minutes (and thus, how quickly I was typing).

As I was doing the test, I realised that this system was open to abuse. Prior to me sitting down at the desk, the previous test-ee's (*snigger*) typing was still on the screen. The consultant selected and deleted it. Now, I could have just gone to Edit/Undo as soon as she'd gone out of the door and carried on where this last candidate had left off, thus ending up being dubbed "the fastest fingers in the West (Country)!" But no, our Witho is as honest as the day is long (hmmm, so according to that logic, I'm much more honest in the summer months then... interesting...).

So, after she and her colleagues have spent about 5 minutes admiring my passport photo (?), we sit down, the consultant and me, and discuss possible opportunities. I note that she is attempting to break the world record for "Number of times I can say Witho's name in any given sentence":

"Well, Witho, I can see from your cv, Witho, that you have a lot of expertise, Witho, in IT, Witho, but from what you say, Witho, you want to move away from that kind of work, Witho. Is that right, Witho?"

"You talkin' to me?"

The upshot is that she's putting me forward for a couple of short-term jobs and will keep an eye out for permanent opportunities. So there.

*I *may* have belched during the test...

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