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Monday, September 13, 2004

VEGETABLE* TORTURE TERROR AT MORRISONS

Yesterday afternoon, a "housewife" from Somerset unwittingly discovered an evil régime of torture in her local supermarket. Innocent vegetable products were being suffocated in cellophane in order to perpetuate checkout efficiency.

Seconds
Previously, the products were allowed to breathe, but this meant that the checkout operative had to waste, literally, seconds looking up the code number and thus precious moments of the impatient shopper's time would be lost.

Secret
The housewife, identifying herself only by the codename "Witho", took a secret camera into the "torture chamber" to photograph these atrocities.


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"I couldn't believe my own eyes" she said. "They didn't even attempt to hide it, they were just there - on display". Not only were the items shrink-wrapped, they were also marked with an identification sticker containing a bar code - to further humiliate them and infringe on their vegetal rights. "I just wanted to make their plight public, so that people can see the cruelty which exists in the very heart of our communities..."

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But seriously, is there really any need to wrap a fruit/vegetable in cellophane? Surely it's not too much trouble for the checkout operator to look it up on one of those handy, revolving aide-mémoires? Will those extra seconds really make such a difference to the impatient shopper? It's the waste that worries me. That piece of cellophane will go straight in the bin. On some products, it may be necessary for reasons of hygeine, but fruit and veg? Needless waste...



*the pedants among us will know that the items depicted are, botanically speaking, fruits and not vegetables, but they are generally *thought of* as vegetables so that it what I shall name them here. So nerr.



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