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Thursday, September 02, 2004

Witho rants

I am incredulous. I've just watched a TV programme hosted by Rebecca Loos*. I'm loathe to even type her name for fear of giving her even more publicity, but I feel that she is symptomatic of the seemingly interminable decline of British television presenters. Okay, the programme was on Channel Five - I couldn't really expect high quality programming - but still. I mean, not even Beckham's publicity hungry, grinning, talentless coathanger of a wife has had the audacity to become a TV presenter and, whilst it sickens me to even think this, I would probably rather put up with La Beckham than Loos.

To my mind, there are several issues here. Firstly, the hypocrisy of the media who, on the one hand, criticise these pathetic z-list celebrities and on the other, continue to photograph and publicise their every move. I would like the journalists to have the guts to just ignore these pathetic creatures. I used to dream of a day when "Vicky" Beckham would turn up at some event in all her finery, pout at the ready, only to find that the photographers would all, quietly but obviously, lower their cameras and remain silent. Then maybe she would just f**k off. I know, it's a pipe dream...

Secondly, it is clear to me that television presenting is a highly skilled profession. I've come to realise this only because so many of today's presenters are clearly so poor. Look at RI:SE. Well, you can't look at it, because it was so bad, it was taken off air. Twice. What riles me is that there are journalists who have studied for years and worked their way up who would kill for the opportunity to get on screen. People with personalities, charisma and the ability to string a sentence together. Why should talentless wannabes like Loos be allowed to "jump the queue" because of some dubious claim to fame?

Even some of those who have come through the journalism route have proved themselves to be utterly unprofessional and, in some cases, incomprehensible. It seems that the blondeness of the hair, the sleekness of the thigh (in the case of women) or the messiness of the hair and trendiness of the clothes (in the case of men) are the selection criteria used. No matter that the presenter sounds permanently drunk (I'm thinking here of June Sarpong - she may share my home town, but really, what is she all about?), stupid (Lawler, Caprice, Brook - the list could go on forever) or utterly self-obsessed and arrogant (Vernon Kaye being one of many) as long as they look the part.

I'm struggling, in the present climate, to think of a decent presenter, though they must exist. Maybe that's because the better the presenter, the less you actually notice them. The good presenters are inconspicuous because they know that what they are presenting is more important than they believe themselves to be...

Don't even get me started on nepotism... or sportsmen/women who become presenters... or sportsmen/women who do TV adverts... (apart from Jonny Wilkinson, whose Boots adverts rule) or...

* If you don't know who Rebecca Loos is, well done! I congratulate you - it's probably better that way. However, I know that some Americans read this and may be curious, so for them: she's a stupid bint who claims to have had an affair with British soccer superstar, David Beckham. The end.


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