Monday, September 20, 2004

The Witho Régime

It's quite simple, really (I *always* type "simply" instead of "simple" and have to correct it...). My régime, that is. It involves an accessory, which I have named the "Now Playing Easel". It's a cheap item, available for a couple of quid from Ikea. This, of course, doesn't include the price of the mental anguish of actually driving there, queuing up to get in and finding a parking space. Nor does the price include the inevitable extra items which "fall" into your yellow bag as you go around the showroom, or the superfluous goods which launch themselves into your trolley as you proceed around the Marketplace. Nor does it include the inevitable meatballs which, with no thought of their own safety, propel themselves onto your plate in the canteen. But, if there were a way of buying Ikea products without visiting Ikea, it *would* cost you a couple of quid. Anyway, all of that is hardly relevant now, is it dear reader?

The "Now Playing Easel" does exactly what it would say on its tin, if it had one. It indicates to the listener the CD which is currently residing in the adjacent CD player. On espying the "Now Playing Easel", the listener can decide whether to simply press "Play" or to immediately remove the CD, place it carefully back in its case and return it to the rack from whence it came in favour of a different selection of music.

Below is the "Now Playing Easel" as presented to me this morning, as I approached the CD player:

Pink Floyd - Wish you were here Posted by Hello

(NB: Readers, just so you know, this post is not an invitation for your to jeer at my musical tastes. I make no apologies for possessing this CD.)

So, I think to myself: "Yes, a bit of Pink Floyd whilst I'm doing the washing up, why not?".

*press play*

This is where the system falls down. As I await the gentle prog-rock intro to "Shine on you Crazy Diamond", I am instead greeted with the howling, prating guitars of "Rust in Peace" by Megadeth.

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