Friday, December 03, 2004

The petty concerns of the office worker

I leave them to it for one day, come in and find that both of my pink pens have disappeared. A quick scoot into boss's office recovers the "Vesicare" one (I have matching post-it notes too) but the "Pepto Bismol" one was still AWOL. It turns out that colleague K had been taking messages on my phone and had "accidentally" picked it up and taken it back to her own desk. They should know better than to mess with Witho's stationery products!

"So, why were you out of the office yesterday, Witho?" the mythical interested person cries.

I was at the interview for the "Senior Executive Support Officer" position previously alluded to here and spent the afternoon finalising my purchases for his lordship's (don't bother visiting, he hasn't posted for weeks... ;)) birthday on Monday.

"So, how did the interview go, Witho?" the mythical one asks, eagerly.

Put it this way, I find it unlikely that I will ever get a job which requires me to go through a formal interview. If it's just a chat where they want to find out what kind of personality I have and whether I will fit in, fine. But I am incapable of being myself and conveying my skills and experience in a formal, panel interview situation. I find the whole thing so utterly artificial. When the first question is: "How will you add value to this post?", I can feel my eyes glazing over and my mind going blank. Why do we have to talk such bollocks about these kind of jobs when many of them require no more than common sense? Get over yourselves - it's not bloody rocket science!

*deep breath*

Okay, so I don't think I did very well on that one. I think I need coaching in interview technique so that I can learn the "right" answers to their "management-speak" questions. God only knows how I managed to get the job at [insert company name] or any of the previous ones. The frustrating thing is, I know I can do their tinpot job...

Other things I'm no good at

Running club. For the last two weeks, I've been running in "top set" and for the last two weeks, I've been "bringing up the rear". And my friend S wasn't there this week to share my woe...

Ooooh, I nearly forgot to mention

I saw some novelty cufflinks in a shop yesterday. One of them had the following emblazoned on it:

"Old lawyers never die"

whilst the other one punchily proclaims:

"They just loose their appeal"


Okay, I know the word "lose" sounds like it should have a double o, but it doesn't. That's the English language for you. It never claimed to be logical. Learn it, accept it. Or get someone to proofread it!

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