Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Jack of all trades...

... master of none

That's me.

I turn my hand to a lot of different things and only ever achieve mediocrity. Oh, I'm not talking about work here, although there is an element of that too. I'm talking about the little things I'd like to be really good at. Playing the guitar, writing, cooking, running, playing tennis, drawing, painting, being sociable, being clever. Interestingly, it's usually when I'm trying (and failing) to play tennis that the subject arises, but evidently it's not just about the tennis.

Take this blog. It's mediocre, vanilla, middle of the road. It's written clearly and (I hope) accurately, but is lacking in wit and any literary skill. I read others' blogs and feel inferior. Their lives and the way they write about them are infinitely more interesting and entertaining. Some are living lives that, once upon a time, I thought I would live and that sometimes makes me feel wistful. Everyone else is better informed, has an opinion and can argue their point intelligently. Not I. I have instincts about things, but not the confidence to state my point and back it up. I always lurk on the fence, not wishing to stick my neck out because I don't feel intelligent enough to follow my ideas through. Not about the big stuff anyway, only the trivia. On the petty annoyances of daily life, I can spout endlessly.

I want to be memorable.

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