Thursday, January 27, 2005

This is the news

Wet carpet under washing machine leaves Witho in a lather

Whilst traipsing around barefoot in the utility room, Witho noted that the flooring was damp immediately in front of the washing machine. She performed diagnostic tests by pulling the machine out, filling and draining the machine to see if the hoses were leaking. They weren't. "I can only assume the water is coming from within the machine itself" she said, in a statement today. Experts will be called to the scene to diagnose the problem.

Witho's wrath in insurance company "fault claim" row

Witho finally lashed out at her insurance company in the latest débacle concerning the accident which occurred in August. On starting a new policy for her new car, she contacted the insurance company to confirm that her 4 years' no claims bonus could be applied to the new policy. She was told over the phone that she only had 2 years due to the claim in August being a "fault claim". She immediately wrote a long letter to the Managing Director of the company explaining that "never in a million years" was it a fault claim, demanded that the 4 years' no claims discount was reinstated with immediate effect and went on to elaborate on the overall shoddy treatment she had received as a so-called customer of theirs.

She is still awaiting their response.

[insert old company name] in Witho reference "sham"

Witho's old company have refused to give Witho's new company a reference, other than a confirmation from Personnel that Witho was an employee. "I just wanted to speak to someone who knew Witho" said Witho's new boss.

Witho, in a tearful statement, said "One year ago, they were begging me to stay. Now it's like I never existed..."

A representative of [insert company name] stated "It is company policy not to give personal references".

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