Wednesday, February 23, 2005

The precarity precariousness (I can't spell either, apparently!) continues...

A telephone conversation

Witho: Hello?
Unidentified person: Hello, is that Witho?
Witho: Yep
Unidentified person: Hello, this is [insert name] from the Teacher Training information line. I just wanted to catch up with you, I spoke to you some months ago when you were thinking about training to become a teacher and wondered if you had got any further with that
Witho: Er, well that's kind of gone on the back burner now
Identified person: Oh? Can I ask why?
Witho: I just don't think I can *do* it
Identified person: What part of it are you concerned about?
Witho: Er, the part that involves standing in front of a class of children, engaging them, being able to hold their attention, capture their imagination, having any level of authority, being able to gain any kind of respect... y'know, just minor things (!)
Identified person: Have you tried to arrange to spend time in a classroom, to gain an insight?
Witho: I tried a few schools - all of which ignored my request...
Identified person: Oh dear. Well, do you think you might consider teaching again in the future?
Witho: Yes, I might
Identified person: Well, if you do, just give us a call...

Hmmm, I *really* needed reminding of how gutless I am at a time like this...

Running club

We did another timed run last night - exactly the same 4 mile route as the timed run we'd done 7 weeks ago. I knocked 5 minutes off my time. I should have been pleased, but I wasn't. I was desperately disappointed. I was running at full pelt, but couldn't keep up with my running partner who disappeared off into the distance. I didn't enjoy one single bit of that run.

I wonder when I'm going to stop disappointing myself, both professionally and personally. I wonder where my self-belief has gone....

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