Tuesday, March 08, 2005


Dear iPod

I understood that we had a reciprocal arrangement.

I provide you with a regular power supply, a means of amplification and a variety of compressed digital music files.

You provide me with music.

I am not sure why you chose to break this agreement, abruptly, at approximately 1800 hours (GMT) on Monday 7 March 2005 at the junction of the A38 and A358 just outside Taunton.

I am bewildered as to why you suddenly paused, with no warning, such that I could actually hear my own car engine running.

I am concerned that you did not respond to any of my "caresses" to your sensitive click-wheel. You froze at my touch, displaying the name of the last track played on your frigid frontispiece. Yes, of course I checked that you weren't "on hold". What do you take me for?

I am puzzled as to why you would refuse to communicate with iTunes, your own mother and mentor, who, with my guidance, feeds you the nutriments of my music collection.

I am befuddled by your inability to declare yourself to Windows XP who, when questioned, refused to acknowledge your presence, in spite of the physical connection between the two of you.

You sat there, stony faced, all evening. So there I left you, with only your internal battery for company. In the morning, when I tentatively opened the door to the lounge, there you were, fast asleep. With trepidation, I fed you the voltage you required and you immediately came to life as if nothing had happened!

Why must you torture me so?

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